It’s okay to admit it: It’s easy to fall into the trap of listing off what’s wrong with your man. But instead of complaining about the little idiosyncrasies of your mate, how about doing something a lot more fun and naming all the wonderful, amazing, delightful, supportive, and fun qualities your mate shows you day in and day out? The things that you appreciate.
Wouldn’t that feel better?
To get you started, here are 13 qualities you’re probably enjoying right now if you’re in a healthy relationship. Thirteen things to appreciate about your man.
Once you get started with this exercise, you never know where it’ll lead over time. But it’s guaranteed to make you smile and reignite some of the feelings you had when you first got to know each other and fell in love.
1. Your man does the little things.
Every day, in every way, this man lets you know how he feels by the little things he does. Does he notice little things you like and surprise you with gifts or cards he knows you’ll love? How about the feel of his hand on your arm as you enter a room together? It’s the little things in life that make all the difference, and he knows just how to make the little things shine.
2. Your man lets you know he loves you.
It’s human nature to get complacent about saying things like, “I love you,” after a long amount of time together has passed. But whether he says it or just says, “Ditto,” he lets you know every day and any in many ways.
3. Your man supports your dreams.
No matter what you strive for, your man takes joy in it and supports your dreams. He’d love to see you happy doing whatever it is that you aspire to, and that’s the sign of a loving person.
In a mutually-supportive relationship, people can grow because they’re not bound into a preconceived shell. Both parties are encouraged to grow and recognized for their achievements. That breeds confidence and ensures your relationship will never be boring.
4. Your man maintains a safe atmosphere.
Even in today’s world, in which panic buttons, 911 cellphone calls, and other safety features are built in to our daily experience, a great man can make you feel safe in any situation. When you’re asleep, do you relax completely, knowing that your advocate is close at hand and ready to spring to your defense? Or do you feel insecure about the man you’re spending your nights with?
A good man will never make you question your safety, because his arms are the most welcoming and protective in your world.
5. Your man inspires you.
It’s one thing to have a man who plods off to work every day – this is admirable, but not necessarily inspiring. When your partner takes a step beyond supporting your goals or doing his fair share of work, and actually inspires you, then this is an awesome man!
There are people who inspire you with ideas, actions, or speech. No matter how he does it, do you catch yourself feeling inspired by the little things he does, thinks, or says? If you do, appreciate your man – he’s a keeper!
6. Your man makes you feel gorgeous.
Some men will compliment you, but you get that disconcerting feeling that they’re just doing it for effect. An awesome man lets you know how he truly feels, and your man feels that you’re gorgeous.
There may be nothing quite so reinforcing as the adoring gaze of another person, and if you’re lucky enough to have the kind of man who loves you no matter what you’re wearing and appreciates you even when you’re sick or tired, you’ve got a truly amazing man who deserves that adoration right back.
7. Your man is fully trustworthy.
There is nothing quite so subversive to a relationship as a mate who’s not completely trustworthy. Although he might fool you with the occasional surprise party, is your good man an upstanding, trustworthy individual? Do you believe what he says, and are you free to be yourself around him, too?
A truly awesome man is not only trustworthy, but inspires trust and makes it safe for you to be candid, too. Trust is the cornerstone of a truly gratifying relationship.
8. Your man opens up.
A great mate will seek the truth, even when that truth is a little awkward or hard to identify. Most people think of a strong man as one who can avoid being swayed by his emotions, but wouldn’t it be nice if your man were willing to open up to you and admit to whatever he’s going through, even if his goals aren’t clearly defined or he doesn’t feel as confident as he wants to be?
Along with trust, the qualities of candor, tact, and authenticity are the marks of a truly intimate relationship. I don’t have to tell you that intimacy goes way beyond the physical aspects or shared experiences. A truly loving relationship shares. If your man can do that, appreciate him and let him know you do.
9. Your man stands by you.
Every relationship is going to have ups and downs. You’ve had them before, and you’re going to have them again. The way you treat each other during these times speaks volumes about the quality of your relationship.
Of course, I’d never advocate lying or cheating on your partner and then insisting that he stand by you. That’s just passive-aggressive behavior that would drive any honest person crazy. But I do want to point out that when your man stands by you no matter what changes you’re going through, either individually or as a couple, that’s an awesome man that deserves your appreciation.
Maybe you can’t appreciate him in the middle of a down period, but if you stand by each other with love and respect in the best and worst of times, your relationship will achieve the seasoning that only the best relationships get.
10. Your man treats you with respect.
Your awesome man treats you with kindness and respect – consistently. He’d never become abusive, threaten you, or try to harm you in any way. Yes, you’ll have arguments. You’ll go through ups and downs. You’ll disagree. That’s part of human nature, and marriage is definitely a learning situation for all of us.
But a great man understands all of this, and maintains his cool. He won’t let his personal feelings, no matter how negative, turn him into a monster or make him do something he’ll regret later. He’d never use physical, emotional, verbal, or mental abuse to try to control you or break your spirit, and he knows that you’d never do that to him, either.
Next time you argue, make it a point to inwardly appreciate your man for keeping his cool and for helping you keep yours. He would never get abusive or insulting, and that’s one of the many reasons you trust him.
11. Your man improves over time.
Whatever he’s learning, developing, or attempting, your awesome man is always striving to be the best he can be. He brings a certain energy to his next fix-it job, new skill, or layer of wisdom. He improves himself continuously, and his efforts are inspiring. If you have a man like this, count yourself as one of the lucky ones.
12. Your man speaks with his actions.
As you already know, actions speak louder than words. Your man doesn’t just talk big – he’s a doer and he does beautifully. He’s still the man you fell in love with, and having him in your life gives you a point of comparison to those who don’t keep their word.
Respecting this awesomely honest man is so easy that it’s almost a reflex action.
13. Your man makes you feel comfortable.
Being open, honest, reliable, and respectful gives you a baseline of comfort that can’t be beaten. Your fun becomes more fun, your love becomes stronger, and your goals become clearer over time. When you’re hooked up with an awesome man like the one described in this article, things are really great and you feel inspired to be your best self.
There you have it: a baker’s dozen of qualities to get you started at counting the awesomeness of your man.
Got one, or more, qualities you think should be on the list. Share it below.
Love,
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