Choices: Making Good Choices in Tough Times

As we near the end of the year I am reminded that each moment is a choice. A choice to move or stand still. A choice to speak or keep quiet. A choice to progress or to stagnate.

I see choices and decisions that turned out perfect, others with seemingly little or no effect, and still others that I have yet to make a determination on.

While some choices may seem insignificant and others appear monumental, it is ultimately impossible to know how much of an impact a single choice will truly make. However, we do know that they all, at least indirectly, affect our subsequent moments.

Although there is no sure-fire way to guarantee that a decision will be a good one, it will help to ask yourself a few questions when you have a choice to make.

How Would I Feel if My Choice/Decision Was Out in the Open?

Ask yourself “If my friends and family knew or were to find out about my decision, would I make the same choice?”

If the answer is yes, then your choice deserves serious consideration.

If others believe it is a good decision they are more likely to offer support or be a part of your support system.

If you are uncomfortable telling others about your decision it may signal that it’s a poor or a wrong choice. Or, it may just indicate that the decision is very important and you hope to avoid negative input.

Consider the difference between a clandestine affair and entertaining the thought of going back to school. Maybe neither would garner you much support from others.

Am I Willing to Take Responsibility for My Choice and Suffer Any Consequences?

Look ahead at what the repercussions and/or benefits to a decision might be.

This can sometimes be difficult, but deciding if you are willing to deal with the results can be an even bigger challenge.

Can I Keep My Word? And Does it Support My Other Commitments?

Responsible people routinely break fewer agreements. Not necessarily because they make fewer agreements, but mainly due to the fact that they avoid making agreements that they are not positive they can keep and because they treat agreements as a priority. These people also tend to know when it is imperative to keep or not keep an agreement.

When we make an agreement, we often do so with the best of intentions. And we all know what the road to hell is paved with. Right? We plan to keep our word. Or do we? We agree to something based on the information we have at the time. But things do change. And some people struggle with how and when to say no.

Did I Consider My Needs and Motivation?

If you are truly focused on what you need (and not just want) and what you hope to get from a decision you will most often find that you have a variety of good options available.

The question then becomes less a matter of is this a good decision, but rather which is a better decision at this time.

Have I Considered the Morals Involved?

We all know the golden rule; do unto others as you would have them do unto you. For decision making purposes let’s turn that around a little. Try doing unto others as they would want you to do unto them. Most of our decisions affect others. Thus, it makes sense to consider others that may be affected before making a decision.

Bear in mind morals are an individual thing. For example, it would probably not be a good idea to give the Pope a stripper for his birthday. It would, however, be appropriate for some folks.

Am I Making The Right Choice for the Right Reason?

Everyone experiences the “shoulds”. You know, I “should” do this or I “should” do that. Things that for one reason or another we feel ought to be done even though we really don’t want to do them. When you have a case of the “shoulds” it’s time to look at the reasoning behind your decision. If you are doing it out of obligation. Why? Is it really an obligation? Do you have other options available?

In the movie Dangerous Minds there is a scene where the students complain that the only reason they come to school is because they have to. The teacher responds by telling them that they always have choices. They choose whether or not to get up in the morning. They choose whether or not to get on the bus, and ultimately they choose whether or not to come to school. At the very least you get to choose your attitude and disposition.

Am I Comfortable Making Decisions?

If you have difficulty making decisions, look at how comfortable you are with making choices and/or trusting that the situation will come out well.

Trust comes with practice. That’s right, practice.

Practice looking at your past, paying particular attention to those times that things didn’t work out as planned. Weren’t there times when things worked out better than planned?

Sometimes the Universe has its own plan, and you’re not privy to the details. It seems that if we knew where some of our actions would eventually lead, we would never start on many journeys, even though things ended up better than we could have imagined or planned.

It may help to keep in mind that each option in a situation has its good and bad points. The goal is to make the best choices so that the unpleasant results are kept to a minimum.

How Much Do I Want to be Right?

Heck, no one likes to be wrong, but you can’t let that get in the way of making the right decision.

The focus should be on doing what it takes to get you where you want to be, not on making a choice that simply allows you to be right.

For example, when two people argue, one or both will usually fixate on being right rather than finding a way to end the argument or solve their problem. This is a practice that is obviously counterproductive.

On  occasion, we happen across an opportunity that feels good, looks good and pays well, but isn’t necessarily the right thing for us at the time.

This situation requires close scrutiny. After all, I have seen some very plush, comfortable looking coffins, but I’m just not ready to lay down in one yet.

By using the information in this article, you can keep yourself on the path that leads to your goals, and help insure that you make your choices for the right reasons.

Happy choosing my friend.

Much Love,