My Favorite F Word: It is NOT What You Think

Now, let me start by saying that this girl rarely curses – so if you were thinking that my favorite F Word is a curse word, you’ll have to read below to find out my favorite F Word.

And you just might be surprised.

My favorite F Word is …

Wait for it …

FOCUS.

Yes, FOCUS.

Say it with me now … FOCUS.

Focus

Focus is about being present and putting your attention on what is important.

No comparisons. No judgments. Just focused on the present.

Focus is about letting go of distractions, detractions, and things that derail your relationship.

Focus is about being intent and clear when having a conversation.

When things are difficult, FOCUS on resolving issues, NOT on being right!

Focus on what is overall best for the relationship, not just an individual.

Focus on being authentic with your mate. Focus on being honest and upfront about feelings and desires.

In additional to the F Word FOCUS, I have several other words that start with the letter F that are critical to a wildly successful relationship.

Other F Words

In no particular order, they are as follows:

FUN –  Make time for fun and joy with your mate. Time to NOT talk about the kids or bills. Time for a movie, laughter, camping (if so inclined), wine tasting with another couple, and intimacy. Time to make happy memories that you can cherish forever. Time to connect and bond.

FORTUNATE – Have gratitude and recognize what makes you fortunate. There are often so many reasons to be grateful. Practice on recognizing them, because there are always reasons to feel fortunate.

FRIENDSHIP – Your mate is your best friend. Maybe you’re at odds with each other at the moment. Maybe you’ve had your ups and downs. Maybe you question the relationship. But at one point in life, you were best friends and made a commitment to be together. Remember that person. Remember the person you fell in love with. Without telling your mate what you’re doing, start writing down all the qualities you fell in love with. They’re still in there, and bringing them to mind will help you both recognize why you’re together, even if you have your ups and downs (and even if you don’t tell each other about your list).

FORGIVENESS – Practice forgiveness, fully and often. You’ve probably heard that quote about a healthy marriage being made up of two imperfect people that forgive often. What else could a healthy marriage be but that? After all, we’re both human. We both do stupid things from time to time. What is your forgiveness literacy level? Do you realize that forgiveness is not just a gift to the other, but to yourself as well?

FEELINGS – Know what you’re really feeling when discussing a topic with your mate. Too often, problems are worsened because we’re not clear on the underlying feeling. (How can your mate read your feelings if even you don’t know what they are?)

FAMILY – Have some real quality family time. Family time builds memories, keeps us connected, and gives us a sense of belonging. Create simple traditions and rituals like Friday pizza night, football on Thanksgiving Day, and using Grandma’s recipe for birthday cakes. Eat, enjoy, and play together.

FUNDAMENTALS – Practice the fundamentals. What are your fundamental values and expectations? Do you know? Have you discussed them with your mate? READ the article about 100 Questions to Ask Your Mate. Remember that even if something your mate does tends to throw you off track, it’s not your mate’s responsibility to keep you on track. When you keep on track regardless of what your mate’s doing, you give yourself (and your mate) the most precious gift – the freedom to be who you are.

FOREVER – If you knew something was going to last forever, you’d make sure to treat it better so that as it ages, it still looks good and runs well. Treat your marriage as if it were going to last forever. You want it to age well and appreciate in value over time.

Which of these is your favorite F Word? Or do you have your own favorite? Which F Word would you like to increase in your life?

Love,