Find Your Motivation

Motivation is crucial to success. Without it, you won’t take the necessary steps required to accomplish your goals.

While some people are easily self-motivated, others may have great difficulty becoming or staying motivated. Quite simply, a person’s level of motivation oftentimes determines his/her level of success.

Motivation and action are based on one or a combination of two things: you are either moving toward something (pull effect), or moving away from something (push effect). Each action you take is based on a perceived gain; the stronger the gain or emotional tie, the stronger your motivation and determination.

Defining your level of motivation determines your risk-to-reward ratio.
It requires a dose of honesty on your part. What are you risking or sacrificing to achieve or not achieve your goal(s)?

Select an area in your life that you want to improve, such as your current fitness level, work environment, or a personal relationship.

Truthfully and completely answer the following questions:

1. What do you believe is standing in your way or holding you back? Find at least six.

Common responses include lack of money, energy, support, time, or sabotage. In marriage matters, I frequently hear, “If he changes first, then I will change” or “I shouldn’t have to do all the work to fix the marriage.” What are your reasons, excuses, or justifications for not having what you desire?

Write down at least six benefits or gains you are receiving from the current situation, e.g., you are avoiding confrontation or facing fear(s).

Are you insuring control, or avoiding responsibility? Are you able to be right, or feel superior? Are you playing the role of peacemaker, or victim? Be honest with yourself. These perceived benefits (beliefs) can be a large part of what is keeping you in a situation.

2. Determine what the cost is to you if you do not make the change(s). Find at least ten.

When you avoid making a desired or needed change, you often miss out on other things – good things!

For example, you have a chance to advance in your job, but a lack of action on your part is costing you the promotion. Not receiving the promotion is costing you self-esteem, better working conditions, and, of course, an increase in pay. Less money may equal less power to purchase things you want. Poorer working conditions can mean more stress brought home, thus making home life more stressful. The higher the cost, of staying where you are at, the more likely you are to become motivated to make changes.

Don’t let this part get you down. It is the push to keep you motivated.

Consider this scenario:
I recently worked with a client, Shelley, who gained over 50 pounds. Shelley admitted that her weight gain was affecting how she saw herself, leading to a negative impact on her marriage; emotional distance and lack of intimacy. She said her husband, Rob, however, has been supportive and reassured her that he still loves her and finds her beautiful, no matter what her weight. Shelley also found her social life had been affected by her weight gain, along with loss of self-esteem. She found herself turning down invites from friends due to her appearance. The weight gain made her less active, and too embarrassed to even attend her children’s events.

3. What are your benefits and gains in changing the situation. Find at least ten.

You will probably find both material and emotional gains. For starters, the individual that pursues a promotion is likely to see financial gain. This can lead to increased feelings of freedom, flexibility, and perhaps even reduced household stress.  Be sure to look at less obvious benefits, such as increased self-confidence, refreshed attitude, and a happier social life.

In the previous scenario, once Shelley took the time to focus on what could be, rather than what is, she had no problem listing numerous ways life would improve. This is the pull part of the equation. Do not underestimate it. You need a vision of where you are going in order to stay motivated. Consistent small steps is what it takes to get you where you want to be.

Make it clear to yourself that there are more benefits to taking action, than inaction. Remind yourself daily. If you follow this plan, you will tip the scales of motivation in your favor.

Success to you!