Your level of commitment to your relationship is a big predictor of success.
No duh, right?
Think about it. Seriously, think about it for a moment. Whether you are talking about careers, child raising, finances, fitness or relationships, when you’re more committed, you are much more likely to be successful.
The more committed you are, the more your daily thoughts, actions, and rituals will reinforce and support the desired outcome.
Saying that you are dedicated and committed is not enough. A commitment must be followed up by action and determination.
How serious are you about making your relationship wildly successful? If you are not willing to learn, adapt and compromise some things for the sake of the relationship then you are not committed. You have a want or desire, but not a commitment.
Consider the three levels of commitment below.
What is your level of commitment to your marriage? And what can you do to fortify your level of commitment?
Level 1: Want
This level says, “I want a successful relationship.”
Wanting, however, does not equal having. Nor does it suggest effort or action to ensure the outcome. This approach is typified by, “If it happens, that’s great.” For folks at this level, “commitment” is often just a word. Typically, very little action or follow-through is found.
Level 2: Choice
Level two says, “I made a choice to have a successful relationship.”
And making choices and decisions represents a certain amount of responsibility and clarity.
The word “choice,” when traced backed to its Latin roots, means “to cut off alternatives.” Cutting off alternatives is pretty powerful. If one chooses to cut off the possibility of having anything but a successful relationship, then how successful would you expect the relationship to be?
Making a choice to have a successful relationship is really a series of thousands of daily choices. Regularly choosing NOT to do things that would harm your relationship and regularly choosing to do things that strengthen your relationship.
Those who make decisions and stick with them are very successful.
Level 3: Committed
Level three says, “I am committed to a successful relationship.”
It’s an “all in” and “no holds barred” level. One hundred percent effort is given. No excuses. No buts. It means, “Failure is not an option,” and, “I will do what it takes,” even if humor is what it takes!
So, honestly, what is your level of commitment to your relationship?
Do you just want a better relationship? Are you choosing one? Or are you committed to a successful relationship?
If you and I were working together in a workshop or one-on-one, right now I would ask you to quietly and honestly take stock of your relationship. Then, I would also ask you to review the levels of commitment above.
Which level are you in? And, more importantly, why?
Love,
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