Do You Inflate or Deflate Your Mate?

Words have power. So do actions.

They have the power to uplift, encourage, inspire, and even heal. They also have the power to weaken, reject, discourage, and wound or injure. Simply put, your words and actions can inflate and/or deflate others.

Do your words inflate or deflate your mate?

Look up the word “inflation” in an online dictionary.  You will note that the definition includes words such as expand, amplify, fill, increase, enlarge, aggrandize, and swell. Conversely, the definition for “deflation” includes words such as collapse, depreciate, lessen, and reduce.

Take a moment to reflect on the way you speak and act towards your mate. Do your words and actions increase, fill, and expand him, or do they lessen, reduce, and depreciate him? Do your words and actions inflate, or deflate, your mate?

Think back over the past 24 hours.  Have you said and done things that uplifted your mate and made him feel loved, desired, and appreciated, or, did you lean towards words and actions that are minimizing, distancing, and deflating?

Phrases that Inflate and Deflate

I surveyed recent workshop participants, asking for examples of words, phrases, and actions that inflate and deflate their mates.

Here is what they shared:

Overwhelmingly, it seems the minimum words necessary to inflate your mate is the liberal use of “please,” “thank you,” “you’re welcome,” “I appreciate you,” and, yes, even “I’m sorry.” Simple inflating actions included smiling, touching, kisses, eye contact, and texts throughout the day.

I personally like to say, “I am glad that you are in my life,” and “you make me feel special.” My husband shared that “I’m proud of you” and “you are a good man” are important verbal mate inflators, in addition to kisses.

Participants said this about mate deflators: avoid confrontational and accusatory statements like, “you disappoint me,” “I can’t believe you did that,” and “you never listen to me.”  Rolling your eyes, frowning, nagging and only half-hearted listening were identified as actions that make people feel deflated.

So, what are your deflating and inflating habits? How does your mate inflate and deflate you? Share below.

Happy Inflating Cherished Wife.

Love,