Preventing Infidelity: A 4 Part Approach

With self-righteous indignation, the tabloids and gossip websites enjoy sharing news about celebrity infidelities.

Of course, we know the unfaithful aren’t limited to the rich and famous. Every day folk can succumb to temptation. In fact, it is estimated that 50% of marriages will have a brush with infidelity – men and women.

The reasons for straying vary –inattention, long periods apart (such as work related trips), or boredom.

Whatever the reason, infidelity creates a lack of trust and credibility, and can cause irreparable harm to a relationship and a mate’s self-esteem.

So, how can you prevent infidelity from creeping into your life?

Willpower is not enough (as many who have attempted diets can attest).  Instead, one must strengthen the relationship with tools of trust, minimize temptations and increase awareness of your daily actions.

As there are four corners to a home, I have created four pillars of a faithful marriage:

1. Have full access to each other’s accounts – financial, and social media.

Access is not a tool for spying.

Rather, you are telling your mate that you have no secrets, and that your information is always available to him if he needs it.

My husband and I have joint checking and savings accounts, and we each have a discretionary account for personal uses. But, even with our discretionary accounts, we have full access to each other’s accounts. As well, there are no secret emails, Facebook accounts, nor burner phones.

2. Avoid private communication or meetings with someone of the opposite sex.

It shouldn’t need to be stated, but do not arrange a private meeting or communication with former love interests. There may still be a spark there, which can be dangerous with an old flame.

Generally, private meetings and/or communications with the opposite sex should be avoided, whether it is business related, or via social media. Include your mate in text messages and emails, and in work situations, copy others to eliminate the “private” aspect. If you are not presented with temptation, then you won’t have to resist it.

3. Avoid physical contact with the opposite sex.

I am a hugger! However, I avoid hugging and other physical contact with the opposite sex, as it can easily be misconstrued.

So, if hugs are in order, give a side hug, a pat on the back, or even a handshake. Don’t linger with your physical contact unless, of course, you are hugging your parents, kids, or siblings. In that case, I say hug long and often!

4. Guard against mental infidelity.

I am all for a healthy sex life in a committed relationship.

Bedroom intimacy can be fun, healing, and strengthen a marital bond. Infidelity is not created in the bedroom, however, but in the mind.

One trailhead to infidelity is that of internet porn. It is estimated that roughly 10% of all websites are porn related.  Fifty percent of men that identify as being Christians view porn on a regular basis, and 1-in-3 of porn site visitors are women.

Porn too often glorifies infidelity and at the very least gives a distorted view of sex and intimacy.

Maintaining a healthy, loving, intimate marriage is important in the prevention of infidelity.
So, what can you do to strengthen your marriage?

Much Love,