I can’t count the number of weddings I have been to where the minister reads from 1 Corinthians 13. So appropriately dubbed “the love chapter,” I bet you’ve heard at least part of it.
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”
– 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
Romantic, huh?
Given the context in which the apostle Paul wrote these words in one of his letters to the church at Corinth, these words become less about Hallmark card poetry and more about living out a commandment from God.
Love is a Verb
Reread verses 4-7 from above. Everywhere you read the word love, substitute feelings with actions. The love that Paul is instructing is agape love – a Greek action word. Here is an interpretation of these verses with actions in mind:
We show love by being patient with those who are driving us batty. We love by going out of our way to perform an act of kindness for someone – even if (especially if) they don’t deserve it. We are love when we choose to be happy for someone else’s success rather than jealous of it. We look like love when we serve in humility and when we refrain from treating others with rudeness. Not being rude here means not putting someone in a position of compromise or asking them to sin. We are loving when we put others’ needs before our own and when we are quick to forgive and forget. And last but not least, we exhibit Christian love when we fiercely protect the reputation of others, wholly trust that people will follow through, always believe and hope the best from others, and we never ever ever stop trying.
While we most often think about romantic relationships when we hear or read these bible verses, this commandment to love is in reference to everyone. We are to treat everyone this way. After all, Jesus did. But, since relationships are my niche, I am intently interested in applying these verses to your marriage.
How Does This Apply to My Marriage Today?
As Christians, we believe the Bible is as relevant today as it was when it was written – meaning, it can still pierce our hearts and we can still make applications today from what we read.
Are your struggling with your mate?
Well, love is patient. The Greek word used for patient in verse 4 means to be “long-suffering.” Love your mate by putting up with difficult people in difficult situations. Bear with imperfections. You have them too.
What can you do today to serve your mate?
Because love is kind. The Greek word Paul uses here for “kind” translates as being useful and finding ways to render useful service to others.
Kindness is patience in action! Love shows up through kindness when you seek out opportunities to meet your mate’s needs without expecting anything in return.
Are you envious of your mate’s success? Of his hobbies? Of her relationship with her girlfriends?
Love cheers on others without jealousy.
Are you being boastful?
Boastful people look for every opportunity to seek out honor and elevate themselves. Love doesn’t try to build up self, but rather, love seeks to build up your mate. The motivation behind bragging is to make others feel inferior to you, which kind of kills the whole “love is not proud” thing.
Are you guilty of inappropriate behavior or thoughts about the opposite sex?
Love does not dishonor others (some translations say is not rude). Adulterous thoughts and actions are never acts of love. Don’t let anyone use “love” as an excuse for an affair. Love doesn’t violate the loyalty and commitment of marriage vows.
Have you acted selfishly in your marriage?
Selfishness if the opposite of love.
Are you easily angered? Does your mate have to walk on eggshells around you?
That’s not love.
Are you an excellent accountant with the memory of an elephant when it comes to your mate’s missteps?
Toss out the ledger. Love doesn’t dwell on the wrongs people have done, but instead on the best things.
Are you being open, honest, and vulnerable with your mate? That is love.
Do you publicly bash your mate or mock him with your friends?
Love bears all things. It protects those it loves. It provides a protective covering to defend the integrity and character of your mate.
Are you paranoid and defensive?
Love is not suspicious of others. It doesn’t cross-examine like an attorney grilling a witness on the stand. It doesn’t assume the worst about others but instead eagerly believes the best.
Are you struggling to forgive your mate for some offense?
Love hopes all things. It never gives up. It is willing to forgive someone 7 times 70 (Matthew 18:22) and is fully optimistic for the best. This hope is not grounded in the person but rather a hope in God that He can change and do all things. Human failure is never final as long as there is a God full of grace. Sometimes hope is the only thing that can rescue a person.
Are you willing to endure all things?
Love is. The word here for “endure” was a term used in the military to carry on despite the attacks of the enemy. It means to persevere under trials and to never give up, even in the face of opposition and suffering. Nothing can kill love. It doesn’t bail when things get hard.
The next time you say that you love your mate, ask yourself if it is the biblical love that Paul outlines. In what ways do you take on love as an action? How have you seen your mate act out love?
Much love,
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