Stop the Public Floggings of Our Husbands

Sitting at a café with my teenage son I overheard a couple of ladies making fun of their husbands.

They went on and on about how their men can’t do laundry right, watch too much TV, why they eat, how they talk and that they don’t even appreciate art. The women spoke as if their men literally couldn’t do anything right and took turns openly mocking them. Basically, they made their men the butt of jokes.

Honestly, the most shocking part is that their men were sitting right there beside them! Yep! They were talking this poorly about their husbands as if they were not even there, while there were sitting inches apart. It was deeply uncomfortable to witness.

Of course, the men tried to laugh it off. But it became noticeably and increasingly more uncomfortable.

Surprisingly, the women seemed oblivious to their mate’s discomfort. Perhaps, the women felt justified. After all, I am sure they thought they were “just being honest.”

My Two Cents Worth

Personally, I felt like the women lacked marital maturity and were unappreciative. How could they be so cavalier about their mate’s feelings? It made me sad and my heart really went out to the men.

When my son and I got up to leave I was VERY tempted to drop off my business cards with the ladies.

And if the circumstances were different I would have said something to the women. Something strong!

I would have started by saying that I had been listening as they spoke so poorly about their men and how would you feel if you were to lose them tomorrow?

Out of respect for their men I chose to do nothing. My confrontation would have only made their humiliation worse.

What to do?

In hindsight, I am not convinced that saying nothing was the right thing to do. Maybe, my words would have been just the wake up call the ladies needed.

Ladies, when we openly criticize our men in public and mock them it hurts them. To save face, they may not immediately react and they may not even say anything about it. But, it does impact them. They do not see the humor in the public flogging. And if it continues, it can destroy the trust and loyalty that he has for you. Our men want…scratch that…NEED to feel respected and appreciated by us. Belittling our men (even jokingly) can slowly erode the foundations of our relationships or open the door for our men to seek affirmation elsewhere.

Not only does verbal flogging impact our men, but it impacts us. If we are willing to publicly ridicule our mates, who else will be mock? And what are we saying about ourselves as wives if we are willing to express such immaturity?

Are our mates perfect? Nope. No one is. If you’re honestly experiencing a valid issue or frustration with your mate, begin by addressing it privately with him. Set him up for success by clearly sharing your needs with him. When/if he fails to meet them, forgive him. If your same concerns continue, consider seeking advice from a non-bias, outside party like a trained professional – not your group of girlfriends.

The last public judicial flogging in the United States happened in 1952. It’s time the verbal floggings ended also.

Have you ever witnessed a woman openly criticizing or mocking her mate in public? Share your thoughts below.

With Love,