Seeking God When Life Hurts

My little brother’s name was David.

I remember David was a strong kid. A real fighter. His battle began years earlier, but ended on April 30, 1979 sometime in the early morning hours while the rest of us slept. My brother was sleeping in a cot at the end of my folks’ bed at the time.

His battle started with a bruise on his leg that wouldn’t seem to heal. Then a bruise on his arm and a tiredness that would not go away. For a young boy bruises are normal, but the tiredness is what got our attention. Reading this you’re probably already picking up on those tell-tale signs of leukemia.

David went through bouts of losing his hair, nausea, and looking like a puffer fish due to his many medications. I remember while the rest of us kids were eating cereal for breakfast, David would have a handful of pills and a glass of water.

He had many many doctor’s visits and experimental procedures too. I remember pushing him around with an IV stand once when he was in the hospital. And another time I recall him refusing to go to a scheduled doctor’s appointment, so I stayed home from school and went to the doctor with him.

My parents never told us David was going to die, but we kids knew that things were different when he was taken out of school and there was no talk of him returning as there had been before.

I miss my little brother.

Meanwhile, my grandfather “Grandpa Hank” was also in and out of the hospital. A miner and a blaster for years, he had developed a lung cancer (or maybe it was black lung) that the doctors couldn’t get ahead of.

My grandfather was a tall man with the biggest hands that I have ever seen. He was a quiet, hard working man with a deep voice. The kind that makes you behave as a child without him ever raising his voice. I never saw him angry or heard him yell.

A couple years later my grandfather was also gone.  Feeling as if he was a burden to his family, Grandpa Hank took action (by taking his own life) to no longer be (what he considered) a burden to the family.

Do I tell you all this to generate sympathy or to tug at your heartstrings? No. You probably know someone with similar pain or loss. Rather, I tell you this because it taught me something and I hope the lessons I learned from my hurts will in turn teach you.  So here is it: We all have heartaches and difficult times. Jesus told us in John 16:33 that we WOULD have trouble in this life. Not maybe or possibly. However, as a young girl these heartaches were stressful and at times overwhelming.