The Titus 2 Woman: The Cycle of Mentoring Women

It’s no secret that women are naturally relational beings. Personally, I view this as gift and a reflection of the Creator. When God created men and women in His image, He gave them each characteristics that reflect His own, and we received that strong desire to bond with others. This is one of the reasons why relationships are so important to women. We value our marriages, our relationships with our kids, and our friendships.

There’s another relationship we should value, mentorships.

In the Christian realm, we hear the word mentor thrown around, but where is it in the Bible? Paul might not have used the specific word ‘mentor,’ but he does outline and teach mentorship to both men and women. We’re going to plant ourselves in Titus 2 and talk about what it means to be a Titus 2 Woman.

Many of us have heard of the Proverbs 31 woman, but what is a Titus 2 woman? The Titus 2 woman is a woman of noble character who also mentors younger woman. If you’re not familiar with the passage, read Titus 2:3-5.

“Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.” – Titus 2:3-5 (NIV)

Titus 2 gives guidelines for mature women of the faith on how they should live their lives and what they should be teaching to (mentoring) the younger women. No matter our age, there are women older than us and wiser than us that have already been through our stage of life. Likewise there is someone younger than us and less experienced than us that could use our counsel and example. You see, no matter your stage of life, there is a continual cycle of mentoring and being mentored.

It’s interesting to point out that in Titus 2 the women were the only category of people that Paul did NOT tell Titus to teach. Titus was to instruct the older men, younger men and slaves, but he tells Titus to have the older woman teach the younger women. We have an important responsibility here as women. And this is not limited by a set age and/or marital status.

Three Characteristics of Titus 2 Women

In verse 3, Paul highlights 3 characteristics of a mature woman.

1. “Reverent in the way they live.” A Titus 2 woman should be an example in her conduct. Her actions always speak louder than her words. She is the type of woman that younger ones can look up to. Her conduct is above reproach. While she is not perfect (only Christ was), she understands repentance, grace, humility, and the call to righteous living that we have because we have been redeemed.
2. “Not to be slanderers.” A Titus 2 woman has a tamed tongue. Whew! That is a task in itself. James doesn’t hold back when he says the tongue “is itself set on fire by hell.” (James 3:6) How easily we can be caught up in gossip and ill speech about others. Mature women are called to keep their lips pure. Paul speaks repeatedly about our words as he does in Ephesians 4:29, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” Helpful and building up. Our words are a reflection of what rests in our heart. A heart deceived and hardened by the world spits out condemnation, gossip, foul language, and complaints. A pure heart filled with the Holy Spirit and focused on kingdom work is a heart that spills out words of praise and encouragement.
3. “Not addicted to wine.”  A Titus 2 woman practices self control in all areas of her life. She isn’t glutinous, isn’t a drunkard or lush, isn’t over extravagant and showy with her attire. In the context of the scripture, drunkenness was an issue of the day. New Christians that had formerly lived pagan lifestyles were no longer to overindulge in worldly pleasures as they had before. Rather than indulge in spirits for fun or to deal with daily pressures, they were to drown themselves in THE Spirit (God’s spirit). He is the only cure for hurts and the only path to true joy.

Things Titus 2 Women Teach

Paul continues in verses 4-5 to highlight the things the Titus 2 woman should teach to younger women (remembering that her greatest teaching tool is her example).

“Love their husbands and children.” The word love here is not the ‘agape’ love we’re used to that refers to an action. Rather, the word used for love here is ‘phileo’ love; a Greek word for emotional love and friendship love (think of how Philadelphia is the city of brotherly love). Paul is saying not only to actively serve your husband out of obligation but to also be his companion. Men are less likely to stray outside of marriage for this affection when his wife is offering it. Women who ‘phileo’ love their husbands are more than just child-bearers. They are real partners and helpmates.

“To be self-controlled and pure.” Self control is a call on all Christians, and it’s not easy. Even Paul struggled with the desire to do what he knew he ought not to. Self control is so important because it is choosing righteous living over self. When we have a pure heart, pure mind, and pure speech, self control becomes easier. Perhaps we should focus less on behavior management and more on heart management.

“To be busy at home.” A woman’s home refers not only to her house but her family. When Paul says for a woman to be busy at home, it does not mean women cannot work outside of the home. A woman who works outside of the home should do so to help contribute to her home, but it should not take away from or undermine her commitment to her home.

“To be kind and to be subject to their husbands.” Before anyone starts a riot about being ‘subject’ to her spouse, this verse is echoing Paul’s directions in Ephesians 5 for wives to submit to their husbands. This does not mean that you’re lying down and being a door mat. Any man who treats you that way is not following his orders from Ephesians 5 to love you as Christ loved the church. God created man and woman equal…different and with different purpose…but still equal. As a matter of fact, Christianity was the only religion of ancient days that actually elevated women. But, God did place a tiered order of authority in the home. It’s headed by God, and then followed by the husband. Wives that respect their husband and encourage him to lead their homes enjoy a thriving marriage.

Verse 5 then says that all of this is to be done “so that no one will malign the word of God.” Everything we do should be for the glory of God. Living as a Titus 2 woman brings glory to the Father. That’s enough reason right there for me!

A Final Word About the Titus 2 Woman

So what does all of this mean for you and for me? Put simply: live the life God calls you to live and teach other woman to do the same.

Connect yourself with wiser, older women from whom you can learn. One woman may not fit the bill in all areas. In your search for a Titus 2 woman, you will likely have more than one Titus 2 woman in your life. I am a big believer in seeking wise counsel, but not everyone can counsel in everything.

Then, seek out a younger woman and take her under your wing. If you’re a mom, start with your own daughter(s) and go from there.

A word of caution to older women…this does not mean give unsolicited advice. And a caution to younger women…be humble and open to wise counsel.

Who can you think of in your life that serves as an example of a Titus 2 woman? Ask that woman to mentor you and hold you accountable. Then continue the cycle by growing and maturing into that role one day for others.

Much Love,