I’ve always been a take charge kind of girl. Need someone to lead that presentation? I’ll do it. Need someone to organize that event? I’m on it. Need someone to start that ministry? Let me at it. I’m the classroom teacher turned entrepreneur and mom boss. Y’all, I get stuff done! It’s just who I am. And so many people have come to rely on me for those qualities.

But the one area it shoots me in the foot is in my marriage. You see, when you’re a strong and independent woman (not a bad thing at all), it’s hard to tone that down or even turn that off. I’ve more than once used my teacher voice, mom voice, or boss voice on my husband – the one area it doesn’t benefit me.  Anyone else guilty of the same thing?

Suzanne Venker has. And she spills her personal journey in The Alpha Female’s Guide to Men & Marriage. Raised by an alpha female and an alpha female herself, Venker knows the tendencies of a woman who likes control and likes to be in charge. Ironically, she never asks other alpha females to stop being who they are. Rather, she teaches women where and how to use their strength to build up their husbands and create a better marriage.

Venker covers ten ways alpha females can harness and direct their strength. From surrendering control of your man to not using money or sex as weapons, she ends each chapter with a challenge – an applicable way to carry out what you’ve learned. She also offers a tangible list of dos and don’ts for women with this personality type.

To be read individually or in small groups (there are even some reading group questions in the book), The Alpha Female’s Guide to Men & Marriage was eye opening and helped me understand some of the frustrations my husband has had in our marriage. And while I definitely got my toes stepped on (wear some thick shoes, girlfriend), I know that proper pruning yields the best fruit.

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