12 Things I Learned and Re-Learned This Year

In the USA, Thanksgiving Day is almost here, along with my birthday and the year’s end.

At this time of year, I generally reflect on the 11 most important things I’ve learned and share them with you.

But because this is my birthday month and this year’s been particularly rich, you get a little present – 12 insights instead of 11!

I hope they’re helpful to you as you review your own year and look forward to the next one. Here, in no particular order, are the things that I have learned or relearned this year.

1- Saying “Yes”

Self-care can be more about saying “Yes” to things than saying “NO” to things. Admittedly sometimes I have a hard time saying no to things. I act like I’m superwoman, complete with cape and magic superpowers.  I think I can do it all, and I want to do it all. Can you relate?

I learned to started better prioritizing things – not by saying “No” more, but by saying “Yes” more.

I say “Yes” to things that recharge me and nurture me, including:

• Sleeping in on Saturday morning instead of jumping up and going full steam ahead.
• Purging my closet so I can donate things to the church clothes closet.
• Getting up early on work days and making green smoothies.
• Sitting quietly with the hubby.
• Enjoying more girlfriend time.

Yes, Yes. Yes.

2- Being Creative

I learned that I need a minimum amount of creativity in my life or I feel out of sorts.

And that creativity can come from a variety of ways:

• Experimenting with a new smoothie recipe.
• Designing a new program or handout for my clients.
• Creating memes for my Cherished Woman Facebook or Pinterest pages.
• Coloring or watercolor painting.
• Even trying a new way home, or
• Watching a movie that isn’t my normal genre.

3- Leave Room on My Plate

Having too much on my plate makes me flaky.

Yes, I am a “To Do List” kind of girl. And I love moving things from the To Do List to the To Done List! But, this past year, my To Do List was clearly unreasonable at times.

Having too much to do means that I sometimes drop the ball and feel (or appear) flaky.

This goes hand in hand with #1, saying Yes and No to things.

4- It’s Okay to Step Back Sometimes

Oftentimes, what seems like a step backwards is really a pathto a lunge forward. When a step backwards is called for, take it!

This is important – do not assume that it’s permanent.  Sometimes when stuck you have to back up in order to move forward. And that’s perfectly acceptable.

Some of the most successful folks I know will tell you that they took steps back just before they made leaps forward.

5- Long Car Rides Can Heal

I have learned that I love to go for long car rides when stressed or when something is heavy on my heart and mind. And I play positive music. Sometimes the hubby goes with me and drives. Sometimes I drive myself.

6- It’s Important to Delegate

Really, it’s OK to hire people to do things to you cannot do well or don’t want to do!

I’m learning to focus more on what I excel in. Hiring out more tasks lets me focus on my gifts and passions.

Yes, getting the new hires onboard and training them takes time at first, and it needs to be done well or it can create more problems down the road.

But freedom is such a joy, and it enables me to share my real talents with the women I’m dedicated to serving.

7- It’s Okay to Let Go

Hardest Lesson of This Year: It’s ok to let go of some people in your life, particularly when you no longer feel connected or you’re on completely different paths.

Don’t make an event out of it. You might be tempted to make a scene or cause a fight to make the break easier, but it’s not necessary. Instead, grieving may be the appropriate course of action. It’s ok to grieve the loss of friendship or what could have been.

But don’t be too quick to let a friendship go – strained friendships can be repaired.  It requires being vulnerable, patient, and gentle with both parties.

8- Dating is Cool

I need to go on more “dates” with my husband.

Seriously, I’m talking about coffee dates, movie dates, picnic dates in the living room, long drives listening to the entire favorite stack of CD dates, etc.

I should NEVER be too busy to date my husband. NEVER. (Feel free to remind me of this when I mention how busy I am.)

9- A Good Friend is Priceless

A good cup of my favorite hot tea and a long conversation with a good friend can make it seem like all is right with the world.

10- Be Honest With Yourself

If something is important, you WILL make time for it. If you say it’s important and you’re not making time for it, then it really isn’t that important!

Either be honest about it’s importance, or reevaluate it. If it’s important, do it even if you’re resisting it.

11- Connection Matters

We all need connection and community. ALL of us.

Some of my toughest clients this year, the ones who are like my inner 4-year-old, refusing help and saying, “I can do it all by myself!” are simply longing for connection.

We get hurt and withdraw when what we deeply desire is a connection. We need to feel as though we matter and have value. And when there’s no connection to that kind of confirmation, it’s easy to get lost.

12- BONUS: I Have Learned to Trust My Intuition, Instincts, and Gut

Lucky you! Here’s your bonus!

My greatest successes and triumphs this year came from trusting that inner voice. My biggest regrets came from NOT “trusting the nudge,” as I call it.

I had a dear friend die unexpectedly recently, and I hadn’t spoken to her in months. I kept feeling “the nudge” to call her, but I didn’t. Sadly, it is now too late.

If your gut tells you to pray for your husband, then do it. When your intuition says to call a friend and check on them, then do it. If you get the feeling that you should apply for a job, do it. You can always turn it down when you get it.

Which of these life lessons most resonates with you?

Love,