Traveling With Your Mate: 8 Reasons to Travel More With Your Spouse

Some of Joel’s and my best memories are from our adventures traveling. Despite all the things that can go wrong, such as mosquitos, lost luggage, and flat tires, I still think there’s great benefit – and fun – in traveling together.

Here are my thoughts about why traveling with your mate is important and beneficial:

1. Shared Memories & History

Shared memories are the glue that holds us together.  Looking back and laughing at this time or that time can be just the comic relief you need in given situations. Also, basking in a memory of shared awe, peace, or appreciation can deepen a relationship.

I recall going to Pompeii and seeing how much bigger it was than I had imagined. And, I remember the time we went to Turkey and how delicious the food and wine were. Even the time we took the kids and our exchange student to Disneyland was memorable (and not just for the long lines). Watching the joy on our children’s faces and the bond created between all of them was a truly heartwarming experience for both Joel and me.

The bus driver was a crack-up, too, and kept saying, “I’m on a roll!” To this day, we still say that as a family (when we think we’re being funny)!

2. Improved Physical Intimacy

Research suggests that one another’s “desire” can increase when on vacation, and that feeling of heightened desire can last long after returning. Over the long haul, shared journeys create increased marriage satisfaction.

You might think it’s because traveling alone together gives you more time and freedom to relax, spend intimate time together, or simply pay more attention to each other. You might think it’s because you’ve shared experiences and made adjustments in new surroundings together, as a team. You might think that physical exercise like biking, walking, or hiking are making you more aware of your bodies. Or, you might think it’s because you’ve seen and experienced amazing sights, sounds, and tastes together.

No matter what the reason, quality-controlled surveys are now backing up the idea that traveling is great news for creating and preserving healthy relationships.

3. Increased Sense of Romance

It stands to reason that romance makes you feel young and releases endorphins, the feel-good hormones. What better to do than take a vacation from your day-to-day worries, distractions, and stressors?

Traveling can inspire deep emotion, whether you’re looking out on a beautiful sea or listening to the sounds of a choir in a huge, historical cathedral. Candlelight dinners or beautiful skies while sleeping under the stars can put you more in touch with God and each other.

There are so many things about our beautiful planet to admire and appreciate. When you open up your mood to those emotions, it’s easier to admire your spouse more as well.

4. A Stronger Bond in New Circumstances

Newness can be exciting, even when things don’t go as planned or wanted. No matter what new things you experience, you learn about each other and how you react. Over time, you learn more – what each of you really loves to do, and what you most love to do together.

As you explore your favorite things to do, you release dopamine, the hormone of happiness and exhilaration. Sharing that creates a strong bond. You also discover more and more new things to try, leaving you with a richer palette of ideas together.

Some of our best life lessons are learned while traveling. When you share the adventure with your mate, you’ll always have those shared insights and experiences. Besides, a change of scenery is refreshing. It literally gives your brains time to reset, to remember what’s important in life, and to alter and add to your dreams for the future.

5. “Firsts”

As you may know from my previous posts, I was married before, and Joel was a widower when we got together. Therefore, we are always looking for firsts. We both want to break new ground in this relationship to give it deeper, durable meaning.

We’ve tried to find things to do that neither of us have done before, and we’ve done it several times. Here are a few: Our first time in Yellowstone, first time on a rollercoaster, first time we flew first class, and the first time we tasted this food or that food. (As you can see, we can milk that last one for years to come!) Even traveling for the purpose of volunteering can be inspiring and make you appreciate your mate and lives together more. The point is that you’ll never run out of innovative ideas, so mix and match some old tried-and-true activities with new ones.

You may have had dreams about whitewater rafting, skydiving, hiking in the Grand Canyon, or something else you’re not even sure you have the courage to do. But, you can plan to do some of these things together, and neither of you will ever forget the experience.

6. Trust-Building

Once when the hubby and I were traveling, I got really sick, and he had to go track down some medicine for me in a foreign country where English was not the native language. Joel had been counting on me to do the communicating and now he was having to try to communicate in a language that he did not know. Then, he had to track down some food. Despite all the obstacles, he came through with flying colors, and I am forever grateful to know I can count on him.

Meeting other kinds of people can build trust, too. When Joel had to go out on an adventure in a country where we didn’t know anybody and didn’t speak the language, he had to build trust lines of his own with complete strangers. We feel this is one of the richest experiences of travelers. You get to realize people are the same wherever you go, and most of them are well-meaning.

7. Learning About Each Other

I’m a strong proponent of learning about your mate. Even preparing to travel together can tell you a lot about your mate. The more you do it, the better you get at preparing, executing, and returning from your travels. Also, your mate gets to know you on another level, too.

Is your mate easygoing about travel? Mine is. Does he handle uncertainties, delays, and confusion with a sense of humor? With calmness? With anxiety?  We have learned that I get more stressed than Joel does when plans go awry. Are you able to laugh with each other, and do you slow down enough to savor the travel, or are you so overscheduled that it feels like running a marathon?

As you get to know each other better, you become an expert in how to deal with each other’s strengths and weaknesses, and that leads to meshing together well. There’s nothing better.

8. Great Photo Opportunities

We have pictures at some really cool places. Sunrises in Yosemite. Our hands in the “mouth of truth” in Italy. Drenched and coming out of splash mountain at Disneyland. Standing at the Western Wall in Israel.

My hubby is the photographer in our family, but when we travel, I’m the one who always offers to take pictures for people and their families. So, my hubby has started taking pictures of me taking pictures for them! We have about a dozen now, and it’s a wonderful way to look back and enjoy.

More than anything else, traveling helps you exercise the emotional muscles of appreciation, awareness, and admiration. Whether you go camping, amusement parking, or to foreign lands, traveling with your mate can be a great thing for your relationship.

When you never go anywhere together, your life can turn into a state of “same-old-thing.” Your brain has a chance to rehash the same old annoyances, same old boring chores, and same old state of mind.

Don’t let your marriage suffer from boredom. Even if you can’t afford to go to the Taj Mahal, take a trip to the beach.

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What about you? Where do you like to travel together? Do you also travel separately, and how does traveling renew your relationship?