Move Over, 7-Year Itch: The 2-Year Itch is Here

We all know what the 7-year itch is, don’t we? As delighted as we were with the Marilyn Monroe movie by the same name, the real-life struggle of boredom and temptation isn’t fun.

Now, the 7-year itch is being replaced by the 2-year itch! Some say that it’s really a 3-year itch, but it’s still a remarkably shortened period of bliss before temptations creep in. And temptations can lead to divorce.

Why are relationships meeting their demise so much sooner?

The major factor seems to be access: access to new technologies, to social media, to personal cell phones (as opposed to one household phone that everybody picks up) … as well, technology makes it incredibly easy to compare your mate with everyone else.

A constant stream of happy faces (and bodies) smiling at you and sending friend requests has become a very common problem in keeping marriages together. According to The Guardian, divorce lawyers say that most of their evidence of infidelity now comes from Facebook.

Here are some tips to help you ward off the “2-year itch.”

1. Don’t compare your relationship with the ones you see in social media.

Most of what we see there is just what folks want us to see, and things are likely not be as “perfect” as they would like you to believe. Refuse to compare your life to someone else’s projected perfect life.

2. Invest more quality time into your relationship.

Once a week, just unplug the phones and turn off the computers. Put a vacation response on your phone if needed, and use that time to have some good adult fun, whether that’s walking on the beach, going to a movie, or spending intimate time together. (Yes, even grownups in relationships need to date.)

3. Unplug from your old flames in social media.

Go ahead and quietly unfriend them. You don’t need to see every post and picture. Even if you have children together, social media in living color is not necessary for finding out what time you’re supposed to pick up the kids. Try email.

4. Spend some time doing personal development.

As corny as it might sound, improving your mind can have lasting beneficial effects in all your relationships, including your marriage. When you truly accept yourself, it’s much easier accepting others.

5. Focus on why you got married in the first place.

Hopefully, you married for the right reasons and not because Papa was holding a gun to your head.

You’re normally attracted to certain qualities that contrast with the ones you saw growing up. Then you get married, and try to change the person into those familiar qualities! Lighten up a little bit and look for the benefits behind all those personality differences.

6. Be realistic about passionate love and companion love.

All passionate love gives way to companion love eventually. They may weave together in a sort of dance, and it’s perfectly natural for your friendship to grow over time. Don’t be so distracted that you miss that benefit. Enjoy this period of your life together.

You and your spouse can keep your marriage strong by using these tips and appreciating each other, regardless of what everyone else is doing. Don’t get stung by the 2-year itch.

Kindly,