The Five D’s to Avoid Divorce

Many of us wish there were some kind of magic pill to make our lives easier. It can feel complicated to keep a marriage together and keep it happy, too!

Here are some very simple factors that will help you achieve both aims. I call them the Five D’s.

1. Desire: Desire to have a wildly successful marriage.

Have a strong desire to have a fulfilling and healthy relationship.

Some people never fully allow themselves the desire to have a great marriage. Thus, they may only partially or intermittently commit. Typically, these people have been hurt in the past and, understandably, they’re afraid of being hurt again.

If you were to ask me, “How long do you fight for your marriage?” I would say, “As long as it takes!”  Have the desire and make the commitment to have a great relationship.

Disclaimer: if someone is in an abusive relationship, they should seek professional help right away.

2. Decision: Decide to have a great relationship.

Make a decision to have a great relationship and then act on the decision.

Decide to do the big (and small) things that make up a great relationship. Decide to get help if needed. Decide to grow and evolve as individuals and as a couple. Decide to keep the romance and spark alive in your marriage.

Decide now. And re-decide daily.

3. Determination: Be determined to have a great relationship.

All relationships have ups and downs. Despite the problems and obstacles, be determined to have a successful relationship.

Be resolute and purposeful. Keep going, persevere, and understand even the best relationships have troubles. Yes, every relationship has disagreements and obstacles to overcome. Weather them together.

Row together in same direction to get out of the storm quickly.

4. Discipline: Be disciplined in your approach to a healthy marriage.

Develop and practice the habits necessary to maintaining a healthy relationship. These include forgiveness, understanding, patience, gratitude, and more.

Be obedient in avoiding things that weaken the relationship and tempt either of you. Things that undermine the fabric of a strong relationship can come in many shapes and sizes, not just the obvious ones like cheating and dishonesty.

Not considering your partner’s feelings and demanding your way are some additional ways of weakening your marriage.

5. Denounce: Denounce divorce.

Do not threaten or mention divorce.

Threatening or mentioning divorce weakens the fabric of your marriage. It makes your partner feel like they are on unstable ground. It can also put your mate in a position where they start thinking of divorce and even fantasizing about how good things could be if the marriage were over.

Statistically, people are not happier after a divorce. Don’t let the notion of the grass being greener on the other side tempt you into thinking that divorce would solve your problems.

Instead, divorce substitutes a whole new set of problems and trials.

These 5 D’s to Avoid Divorce might seem simple, but they are the firm cornerstones of successful relationships. Take a little time in your daily morning routine to review one of them each day, and make it a game with yourself to see how well you can use these principles to stay together and stay happy, too.

If you need help rekindling your relationship or staying focused on the 5 D’s, we are here to help.

Much Love,